Behind every successful man, there is a woman. This well known phrase rings very true in the Ancient Roman world. In a society such as this men were the doers and the achievers and it was therefore only behind her husband that a woman could stand. This role was a demanding one and roman women should by no means be underestimated for, while men worked centre stage, it was the women in their lives who pulled the curtain up and kept the spot-light on.
In the ancient world, men were recognised in their own light, whereas women were only known by their association to the men charged with their care; they were always somebody’s daughter, wife or sister. The majority of roman women spent their lives as wards of first their father then their husband and perhaps later their son. If those three categories were left unfilled due to death then a guardian would be appointed, an instruction usually left in the previous ‘owner’s’ will. All children lived under their father’s absolute power, Patria Potestas. When boys grew up they assumed their own independence but young women were just transferred into another’s power. There were few exceptions to this rule, for example prostitutes and Vestal Virgins.
Childhood
Boys and girls in Rome experienced very different childhoods. Male children were given an education, first rate if the family were prominent enough, were trained for a life of politics, business or war and above all were allowed to enjoy their childhood. Girls were left uneducated in all but the running of a household and other training necessary to prepare them for caring for their husbands. They were expected to act like miniature adults and not little girls from an extremely young age. In a letter from Pliny the Younger to a friend he talks of the death of a thirteen year old girl, praising the child for her lack of interest in toys and for having “the judgement of a mature woman”.
Importance of Marriage
The great majority of marriages were arranged and while a future husband could rarely give his opinion a future bride had even less of a say. Fathers were anxious to lose the expense of keeping a daughter and aimed to have them married off as soon as possible. Women who remained unmarried were often hated by their family for it was seen as a woman’s duty to relieve her father of such a burden, raise a family and hopefully further the family’s political connections. Catullus writes that in marriage a daughter is “ever dearer to her husband and less hateful to her parents”.
The Life Expectancy of Roman Women
The lives of some roman girls could be no longer than a few moments. They were seen as an unnecessary expense and, as few families had the funds to support large numbers of offspring, it was common for fathers to only allow those children who could amount to something, the males, to survive. It was extremely rare for a mother of an unwanted daughter to be consulted before her child was to be exposed. Occasionally women lived to reach eighty years of age. The majority of women who were not exposed at birth lived very short lives the events in which passed rapidly. Girls were married very young, raised children and tended to die before middle age, usually in childbirth which was usually difficult and painful. It was common for women to have grandchildren before reaching thirty.
Most women did not go unappreciated. An epitaph left by Titus Julius Fortunatus for his wife Veturia recounts her marriage to him at eleven years of age, the birth of six children, only one of whom survived and her death at twenty-seven. According to her husband she was “incomparable and showed outstanding devotion to him.”
See also articles on Roman Marriage.
Sources
Catullus - Poems
Pliny the Younger – Letters
Corpus Inscriptionum Latinarum
